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My awesome buddy ‘ol pal ‘ol international speaker, coach and bestselling author Shannon Kaiser is back today (remember her talking about how to trust your gut?!) talking about something as deep as it gets — self love. This is not just a woowoo buzzword, my friend, it’s actually something that’s really really important. I was stoked to sit down with Shannon to chat about her fourth book, The Self Love Experiment, the book that makes her all glowy when she talks about it! And for good reason – it’s all about discovering self love. Why the self-love experiment? Instead of the self-love project or self-love journey or self-love principles? Well you’ll have to listen to find out. Cliffhanger. Also a cliffhanger, is self-love actually achievable for US ALL? …… (Spoiler: yes, duh, that’s what this is all about!)
This episode is sponsored by my bff’s Amazing Grass who just became even MORE amazing by launching some new amazing ELIXIRS. (If you’re wondering, the true definition is “a magical or medicinal potion.”) Amazing grass’ 3 new organic medicinal potions (which come in packets or tubs as per their usual) are crafted to support your beauty, your brain and your belly. I’m a personally humungo fan of their brain elixir which has my beloved matcha in it plus my also beloved MACA among a bunchA other carefully chosen ingredients which work together to keep your focus IN CHECK.
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Sparknotes from this Chat:
“The self-love experiment started as an opportunity and challenge for myself to really become my own best friend. It started out of a desperate need to end the critic that was waging war inside my head.”
“How happy can you really be if you don’t love yourself?”
The core of everything has to start from within ourselves.
“How do we exist in this world that’s always trying to tell you to be different – that’s always telling us we’re not good enough? We have to learn how to be good enough…as we are. And that’s really the self love process.”
Self care is actually about joy → does this bring me joy? If this brings me happiness and joy then I will do it, and that’s the uppermost pillar of self-care?
Self compassion is about learning how to change that inner critic into a more kind and compassionate voice.
SELF LOVE IS FREEDOM. Bottom line. It’s learning how to exist in a world that’s telling you to be different. It’s about learning how to accept and care for yourself and know that you matter and know that you’re worthy of your desires.
Over 95% of us want to change something about ourselves. 95% of women hate our bodies. (Doesn’t matter what size our body is, btw. Even super skinny peeps hate their body, too!)
A lack of self-love is truly an epidemic. 6/10 people actually opt-out of stuff they wanna do (movies with friends, beach vacations with families, dinners with a date) because of a flaw or insecurity that they believe they have.
How do you love your body and still lose weight? Because it becomes about loving your body so you make better choices. You choose the be the best possible vibrant version of you versus eat healthy food or exercise out of self-hate.
Try writing a letter to your flaw or pain point! Ask it why it’s there, what you can learn from it?
“Hating yourself is a learned behavior.”
“We recognize something about ourselves that feels different and either the world will reflect back ‘yep, that’s totally different’ or we assume.”
Be who you needed to be when you were younger.
“A real self-love practice gives you permission to raise the standards of your life and truly not settle anywhere.”
Self-love practice = a self-love lifestyle.
When you bounce out of self-love and you feel terrible about yourself, and you’re comparing yourself to others or feeling jealous, actually thank the universe for showing you what’s possible for yourself. Because …
“If we’re comparing ourselves to others, it’s because that other person shows us something we actually like, admire or want, otherwise we wouldn’t be comparing ourselves! So in that sense we can actually appreciate (express and feel gratitude) for showing you what’s possible.”
Self-love isn’t about loving yourself 24/7, it’s more about how quickly you bounce out of talking shit to yourself.
Heyo, acceptance STARTS healing.
“To get what you want you have to let go of what you don’t want.”
“What you focus on grows.” Like my legs when I talk shit to them!
Shannon’s current favorite plant-party restaurant: Kure in Portland, Oregon
Her fav plant to eat: asparagus
Her most-used kitchen tool: her spatula
A book that’s inspiring to her: Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks